Yeah having a job is So Grown for me, a worthless thing below society, but not having a job makes me a burden. Showering is So Fancy but not showering makes me a burden. Doing my chores and being responsible is So Wannabe Grown but if I don’t do them I’m a burden. What is the point of living if I get bullied for everything I do because it’s “trying to be grown” at fucking 26 years old? Right it’s so funny that I want to be grown up so badly that I work a job and take care of my body, that’s so fucking funny. I really should have killed myself when I originally wanted to at 7 to spare myself from twenty more years of the same bullying and abuse.
What is the point of living if I’m perpetually too young for everything regardless of my actual age? Why go on if I’m always going to be less human than a cockroach? I keep fighting for humanity I’ll never get and it’s pointless. I was born scum and I should know my place as scum and do the right thing, get rid of myself. I’ve overstayed for 27 years when I did not deserve life at all. Some dying babies deserve to die.