Circulation issues have been plaguing me for the past several months, and getting a doctor’s appointment is taking an eternity. As I’ve been waiting, the issue has only worsened, to the point where I am quickly losing sensitivity in my hands and fingers. EDIT: “Quickly” as in over the span of a few days or weeks having cold hands, not hours. If that makes a difference.
As a cis male, this has also begun to affect a certain part of the body that requires good blood flow to properly function. Without an incredible amount of sexual excitement, it remains worryingly cold and lifeless. I’m enjoying what I have left while it lasts, but it would be horribly fitting for me to lose feeling there too before I can even set foot into the vascular specialist’s office.
It’s brutal. It really is. I’m in my early 20s, and this, on top of a multitude of chronic health problems, is hitting me all at once. I’ve never had a partner, but I was always so excited to find one someday. But now, things have just gotten a whole lot harder. (That is, except for one thing.)
I don’t want to lose hope. I’ve already tried that in the past from my other health issues, and it only makes things worse. But it’s kind of difficult to imagine what a relationship looks like without functioning parts. Especially when this doesn’t magically make me asexual. I still want to enjoy some kind of sexual activity, but I’m not sure that I’ll be able to do it in the way that most women who would otherwise be compatible with me are hoping for.
I’d appreciate any kind of hope or encouragement, or just practical advice for what to do if the worst comes to pass. I feel that this is a scenario that I need to be prepared for, because god knows that the medical system isn’t fast enough to do anything except record the damage that has already been done.
Thank you, and I wish you all luck in dealing with whatever fucked up shit has come your way, too.
EDIT 2: You know what? Maybe this isn’t about my junk as much as it is my entire fucking body. “Oh that’s weird, the lack of circulation has spread from my fingers to my entire hand in a few days.” Uh, yeah, you THINK? My feet are turning blue, my hands are going numb, my mouth is getting cold, and I’m worried about THIS? Maybe the commenters telling me to get care immediately have a point. Maybe I’m the meme guy who worries about the economy while a meteor crashes into Earth.
Progressive feet and hand numbness… sounds like untreated diabetes to me, based on symptoms I remember when my dad first got it. Definitely get checked / a docs input. Untreated, you can literally lose toes/limbs. I’d even consider starting to eat a diabetic diet while I waited for an appt, to see if it improved the situation.
As for the sex stuff, as an older guy, I reckon the bigger part is to find a partner you want to live with outside of the sexy-time stuff as a priority in general. Everyone ages and their bodies change, physical stuff is important but its not enough to maintain a longer term meaningful relationship, in my experience at least – and ultimately, the time spent boning is a tiny fraction of the time you’d be spending with the other person in the long run. To add to that, I’ve had relationships in the past where we didn’t do much of the direct penetration stuff, but I still found it really… rewarding? titilating? gratifying? … just making her eyes roll back / bite me as she climaxed and then collapsed exhausted. The endorphin release from intimacy isn’t just about getting your rocks off, in some ways the feeling of knowing you can drive your partner nuts is better – to me, that’s what makes me feel ‘virile’, more so than simply fucking/orgasming myself. Biggest issues there was just making sure she understood I didnt feel a need to orgasm myself everytime we were together, so long as I rung her bell thoroughly.