Tbf if I went to mass and the padre covered me in dookie and showed no signs of stopping, my absolute first thought would be to leave, wash myself well, and never go back. If I decide I have to have a religion, yeah, I’d probably try full buddhism instead of some ostensibly fancy expensive one like Scientology. The fact that you just take it and go back for more because you can’t imagine your life without Catholicism, dookie and all, is what puzzles me.