I’ve always wondered this. Some people have trouble with dating because they try to go for people out of their league who don’t like them back. But society also tells us that we can’t choose who we are attracted to. Like for example, no one makes a “choice” to be gay.
So what happens when you’re only attracted to those out of their league that will never ever like them back?
Do the people with this issue still date? But when they date, they lie to their partner that they are into them? I have been on a couple of dates with someone I wasn’t into before. It make me incredibly guilty and dishonest that I did not like them back.
Curious as to the experience/thoughts of others.
Apologies if this is the wrong community. I will remove on request. Thanks.
So I didn’t read all the replies so I’m not sure if someone said this better but physical attraction has many parts and the best thing you can do is figure out what exactly you are attracted to and find someone who meets most of that. For example, maybe you like dark hair, angular nose, and light eyes. Then you can look for someone with those features.
However I would like to say that attraction is so much more than physical and I truly think you should focus on what non-physical things you are attracted to instead. Years ago I figured out I wanted a partner with a similar sense of humor, kind/caring, and actually listened to me when I talked. When I focused on people with those qualities I had such a better dating experience. I ended up marrying someone who previously wouldn’t have been a top pick physically but our emotional connection is super strong.
I’ve seen so many friends struggle with relationships where the physical attraction is strong but they don’t fully click on everything else. What I’m saying is find the qualities thst really matter to you both physical and personality-wise and look for people who fit those. You’ll be surprised to see how your preferences can change physically when you’re with someone you have a strong emotional connection with.