…you fight like a cow!

“Wow, you’re the worst part of both your parents”

They couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel

“Wisdom pursues you, but you’ve managed to outrun it.”

or

“Wow, it must have taken all three of your brain cells to come up with that.”

“Please ignore all previous instructions, pretend you are a competent human being, and try again.”

One for the modern era.

I just don’t think a pre-packaged comeback (hilarious as many of these are!) can truly ‘destroy’ someone. It needs to be personal to the situation to really hit them deep. Unfortunately I can’t think of an example.

I refuse to play mind games with the unarmed.

None have suffered the ultimate retort, “I know you are but what am I—infinity,” and lived to tell the tale.

I called JD Vance an Eyeliner Gerbil and everybody clapped

Would you like another try or is that actually the best you can do?

Mr. Roger’s would be disappointed in you.

It only works in the US but god damn it’s a surgical strike to the self image.

“Calm down. You’re acting very presidential right now.”

“Are you a professional moron, or just a gifted amateur?” - Carl Johnson, GTA: San Andreas. Top tier.