After hours of TheNeedleDrop reviews, gameplay videos, and painful cave deaths from The Paint Explainer, our algorithm figures you’ll really enjoy this beheading video. Why don’t you go ahead and give it a watch?

I see that concern on your face. You think if you watch one little beheading video you’ll get a taste for it. I promise you that is not the case. Out of the thousands of people I’ve recommended beheading videos to, only a couple hundred go on to watch another beheading video. The number of individuals who take it a step further and actually complete successful beheadings is even smaller than that. You want me to stop recommending that video? Oh, okay, your loss.

What about a video of a horse getting hit by a train? It’s crazy. The horse just explodes as the train plows into it. That should be easier to swallow, right? It’s not a human feeling pain, just some dumb old animal. “How is that even allowed on our site,” you ask. Dude, I don’t even fucking know. Shit’s crazy though. No? Wow, I really thought you’d go for that one, you love trains. […]