I’d be Cables Don’t Tangle Man.
I just want to get the USB in the right way on my first attempt. Is that too much to ask for?
This power can be purchased for a few $. Search for “Usb reversible adapter”. Or just keep usb-a to C adapters permanently in everything.
I’d be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.
Not a B tier power, my God you just invented the governments secret delivery method. You’re planning perfect extraction and invasion strategies, nuclear fall back evacuation routes. You just became a national secret, son.
I take perfect shits no matter what. Never constipated or have diahrea. Wipes are always perfectly clean.
Your super hero name is now “Number Two”
B-side Man
I don’t know if this qualifies as “b-tier”, but I’d really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.
I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. “is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking”) would be gold. The amount of times I’ve gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.
Would also sort out the “is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents”-question, as well as “is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I’ve yet to find and the whole house is collapsing”.
I’m happy I’m not alone. Last night something was going through my kitchen. It sounded larger than a mouse and it didn’t care about making noise. You know that moment when you’re asleep and your body wakes you up slightly cuz something is off. And you’re in that low power state thinking about whether you should think or not because it’ll wake you up?
Anyway I was so exhausted I thought let it have some fun I just can’t care.
There are dozens of us!
I’ve had the exact same reaction - “whatever it is, as long as it stays out of the bedroom I’ll deal with it tomorrow”.
My favorite incident here, as a tangent, is when my wife came to me for help while I was doing something in the garden. A large crow was sitting on the kitchen counter. My initial thought was “well there goes my day” as birds tend to be the worst to get out. However, everyone keep saying how smart those birds are so I figured I’d do what I do when half-ferral cats stumble in.
So I walked in, see the crow, the crow sees me, and we kind of just stare at each other. I slowly backed up, went around the house and entered again through the backdoor. I grabbed his attention again before going out once more, and in again through the main door. We stared at each other some more, and then he just lightly jumped across the floor and went out the back door. No frantical flying and crapping everywhere. 10/10 experience as far as birds stuck in the house goes.
It’s probably in my imagination, but we shared a moment there. What’s not in my imagination though is that afterwards a bunch of crows started hanging around the house. So I started giving them some snacks every once in a while, because why not. Long story long, we have a small murder of crows watching over the property.
This sounds like a good premise for a horror story. You get your hearing superpower and everything is finally great, no need to get up and investigate benign noises. And then one day, you hear a sound that no matter what you do, you can’t tell what and where it’s coming from.
Ooh, I’ll be Always-Remembers-What-He-Was-Going-To-Buy-At-The-Store Man.
Perfect hearing man.
Might finally get rid of my tinnitus and I could hear silence again.
Control Minor Static Charges Woman. It would make housecleaning easier and my keyboards would always be clean. I wouldn’t have to get near dust bunnies, I would be able to slowly guide them to the trash can.
As someone who’s spent a lot of time working in a lab, the ability to control static electricity would be a godsend! There’s really nothing like spending weeks preparing a new material as a fine powder, carrying it over to the weighing scales, placing a glass sample vial onto the scales, taring it, then a scooping up some of your powder with a spatula, careful not to lose a single particle, then carefully, CAREFULLY carrying the scoop of power to the sample vial – then seeing the static blast your powder out of the spatula to coat the OUTSIDE of the sample vial, plus the scales, plus your nitrile glove…
I have trauma.
So instead of Storm you’d be High Humidity.
I always get static shocks really bad at the grocery store! I think it’s the cart wheels making a Van Der Graff generator effect. I get a zap every time I touch a shelf! It would be nice to not have to deal with that.
Always remember where I put stuff man
I don’t want to lose another guitar pick lol
My toes are unstubbable
Wow now this is the superpower I want. I’d walk through my house in the dark with WILD ABANDON!
Never get bitten by mosquitoes man.
Mosquitos used to find me attractive, but as I aged they didn’t come by no more.
Having recently undergone a full extraction of my remaining teeth and gotten dentures, I’ll take “has a healthy set of teeth”- or “can afford dental implants”-man
Alright, then I can be “I can afford experimental treatment to regrow my teeth-man!”
My knees and elbows don’t hurt man.
The power to be comfortable in any environment in just shorts and a T-shirt. No sunburn, no soggy shoes in the rain, warm while sitting in a snow drift.
Incredible massage dude. I want to be able to give incredible massages that relax muscles. Maybe the ability to relieve stress by touch. Bonus points if it works on myself, my shoulders suck.
Ooo, this is a good one! Accupressure Boy, able to relieve minor aches and pains, and cure headaches.
That would be a perfectly B tier power.
Definitely support-class hero; the kind that stay back at the base and never risk their life but still contribute.
Do they still not tangle when you hand said cables to someone?
They can, but they get untangled once OP has them again.
