Weren’t Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn’t Baal their son?

"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. ‘You believe in God?’

‘No.’

BANG Dead.

‘You believe in God?’

‘Yes.’

‘You believe in my God?’

‘No.’

BANG Dead.

‘My God has a bigger dick than your God!’"

-George Carlin

I can follow this, up to

they are neopronouns

I believe that that’s a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn’t have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don’t capitalize as much. And are they distinct?

It’s not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn’t entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It’s a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected

Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that Christ is purely divine and not human

Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you’re constantly being dicked by God.

According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god–the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don’t like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons–if they’re good enough–can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in… More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don’t usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren’t Mormon.

I believe that the quote is, “As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become,” or something like that.

Source: was Mormon for >25 years.

You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.

This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.

More gods == more rational

Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.

I think this is very relevant to this discussion https://youtu.be/qUb0JnEsOHQ

This is excellent:

If God has no cock, then being male doesn’t need a cock to be real.

If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?

Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?

Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?

What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?

And why all these questions about pee anyway…how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it’s bad, doesn’t that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let’s people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?

You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.

It’s a lot.

Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.

Sky will never be the same, won’t it?

God never addressed themselves as him/her. They referred to themselves as I am.

Is God cut or uncut?

Fu̇nilı inu̇f, ð Moṙmėnz ƿᵫd hæv ð lıſt tceu̇bėl ƿið ðiſ ƿėn. Ðıṙ vṙjėn v ð greıtṙ ſpıritcuėl wṙld hæz ė hevenlı mėðṙ tu. Ėkoṙdıŋ t Knowing Better, C’z n ſupṙ impoṙtent, b ð Moṙmėnz þıŋk it’ſ nuıſ t no C’z aut ðeıṙ.