An Internet without privacy and encryption sounds awful. But one where it’s illegal to talk about politics and religion sounds pretty tempting at times…

Yeah, when some friends started getting married in our 30s I thought they were being impulsive. We’re a bit young to be getting married aren’t we?

Antedilluvian

Was just about to post some “what are you talking about?! Lots of people said…” but maybe that says something about the number of diagnosese my friend group have accumulated…

Fish changing sex is the most common, with pronounced physical sex changes. But they also usually simultaneously change gender, starting to behave in the manner associated with their new sex.

And there is some interesting examples of changes that seem to be more gender based. This study discusses behavior changes in wrasses where “male-typical behaviors such as courtship and aggression” start being seen in certain female fish, leading to changes in social status, before any noticeable changes to gonadal organs (the glands that produce many of the sex hermones).

I’m now going to be perpetually frustrated that I’ll never be able to find and identify my tree soul!

The aquarium staff hoist the trans flag, and explain that “some fish change gender”. The people complaining bring up “gay”, but don’t seem very well informed about human or aquatic cultures.

I think it’s been a very long time (if ever) that YouTube searches weren’t somewhat localised. If you live in an anglophone country you might not notice it, but YouTube wouldn’t have got very far if Germans got rodents instead of advice when searching “rat”.

Most salad dressings are just savoury cocktails

Those bastards!

If anyone is curious (as I was):

In real life Nemo’s dad would have become female after mommy got eaten. https://evolution.berkeley.edu/fisheye-view-tree-of-life/gender-bending-fish/

“of all the animals, fish are sexually the most fluid” - https://www.bbcearth.com/news/fish-are-the-sex-switching-masters-of-the-animal-kingdom

Check if you’ve actually got a mild fungal infection, that’s often the cause. Or you’re allergic to something.

Are you having rest days? Rest and recovery are a pretty vital part of actually seeing any benefits from exercise. Especially since you’ve got a physically demanding job, your body might be crying out for some recovery time. If you really want to keep the habit of daily exercise, you could try splitting some of the activities out to alternating days, so you could still do some gentle yoga and stretching on ‘rest’ days, but only do the cardio and core on alternating days.

Very cool! Love the style and colour.

If its important to you, and you’re capable of having grown-up conversations as a couple, then there’re probably lots of ways to figure it out. Start by taking the pressure completely off by telling him that you understand that it makes him uncomfortable and you’d never want to pressure him into something he’s not fully consenting to (can you imagine if it was a 20F posting that her older boyfriend keeps trying to push her to have sex in a situation she feels uncomfortable in?)

Then try and find out what is actually the source of the issue for him, and if he wants to, work on that. If he deep down struggles to believe that your parents are cool with this guy banging their can’t-even-drink-in-a-bar* aged daughter then maybe your parents have to be more direct about giving their approval. I had a gf who’s parents had noisy sex when we were staying over and whose dad made super weird jokes like “we want her back in one piece <wink>” when we said goodnight. It was deeply awkward, but I certainly didn’t worry about them judging us for having sex.

Similarly, if it just makes him feel self-conscious and that doesn’t make him feel very sexy, maybe you can start doing (consensual) minor sex stuff during the day while he’s visiting. Or spend time during the day watching TV or chatting in your bedroom with the door shut. And once he’s confortable spending time in your bed and in private, and he sees that your parents don’t judge him even though you could have been having sex, it’ll be easier to accept an overnight. And tbh, when staying in someone else’s house it’s much easier it have sex during the day when people are busy and there’s noise from TVs and stuff, than at night when any noise feels very obvious.

But the main thing is to respect each other’s boundaries, and realise that some things take time.

Do you know what part is “too intimate”? Is it sleeping over in general, do you stay at his? Is it the awkwardness of your parents being around? Or, with intimate / all adults / private lives are you really talking about him not being comfortable having sex with his girlfriend in her parents house?

All of those are pretty normal, but can probably be resolved in different ways. E.g if he just likes his own space, maybe starting with a single night staying over makes more sense than a few days, and at the weekend so it’s not disrupting his schedule or whatever he worries about.

If it’s the sex one, I’d recommend a bit of empathy. Some people are really relaxed about sex and others are not. And as a guy, if I’m worrying about someone hearing us, how much noise the bed is making, etc it can be pretty hard to get in the mood and some guys can be worried about not being able ‘to perform’ especially when you’re both young and only been dating a short time. And it’s not as easily brushed aside as “don’t worry about it, they don’t care” once my mind is focused on what someone downstairs might be hearing and thinking, I’m not in the moment any more.

Nope

I don’t see flirting as very different from making friends. The two biggest differences would be speed and boundaries.

If I’m trying to make friends, I’d be mindful to not seem too keen and obvious, which is also generally good flirting advice, but sometimes you can be extremely obvious with flirting (the “nice boots, wanna fuck?” approach). I’m sure there are situations where saying “I want to be your friend!” is a good strategy but they’re pretty damn rare (and probably involve been on mdma).

When you’re building any relationship or connection, one of the necessary steps is breaching boundaries. By sharing personal information (whether it’s hobbies, or a personal tragedy) or making jokes or teasing (if appropriate and appreciated) helps move a relationship from “stranger” to “friend”, similarly eating together, inviting someone into your home, or physical contact all represent breaking down boundaries and closer and more personal relationships.

Different social groups have different ideas about appropriate behaviour at specific levels of relationship. I have social groups where being ‘cheeky’ and even outright mean to a new person is how they show they’re one of the gang. Similarly, there groups of people who can be lifelong friends, but still wouldn’t be comfortable hugging. For many people, flirting, especially if you’re aiming for a sexual relationship, often involves more physical boundary testing than with platonic friends (letting your hands touch, flicking dust off their clothes - and just FYI, if you’re not sure what you’re doing, it’s almost always better to let the other person be the first to initiate physical contact, especially if they’re a woman). But saying that, some straight guys I’ve known are very physical with male friends both with hugs and friendly punches, so it’s not a strict line.

I guess he is a relevant expert? And I think his tone suggests his judgement on the matter’s bullshitosity.

Alan MacLeod is Senior Staff Writer for MintPress News. He completed his PhD in 2017 and has since authored two acclaimed books: Bad News From Venezuela: Twenty Years of Fake News and Misreporting and Propaganda in the Information Age: Still Manufacturing Consent, as well as a number of academic articles. He has also contributed to FAIR.org, The Guardian, Salon, The Grayzone, Jacobin Magazine, and Common Dreams.

I could get a copy of the original “White Box” Dungeons & Dragons set, although not an actual first print run copy, because those go for $20k. But I’d probably buy the last few Planescape products I’m missing, which are also unreasonably expensive for rpg books but not in the same league as the original dnd sets, and much more enjoyable to read.