Get the mental health services for now. It’ll probably help you stay more stable for the difficult planning and decisions that may need to be done. I don’t think the labor camps will pop up suddenly enough to ambush many people. You aren’t as cornered as you feel right now. Figure out your exit plan, figure out your threshold for when to run, and try to live your life and/or resist in the meantime. There are lots of beautiful places to run if you’re willing to learn a new language. Spend some time reading about immigration laws so you’ll know what to do. It’s a little less scary when you know the plan in detail.
Yeah, definitely. Women who love guys like that are more common than people think. I know a bunch. I married one. Stay upbeat and financially self-sufficient and you can find someone who’s right for you. The idea that you have to be a tough guy to get dates has evolved from a misconception to a fucking psyops.
By the way, as a bi guy, I have never considered a man “adorable” or “a sweetheart” unless I thought I’d enjoy dating him. I must presume that women are often the same way.