You’re gonna want to sit down on this

I moved into a dated house that came with dated kitchen appliances 70/80s. I’ve updated the floors under, the water line and gas line to them. Mostly everything around them. I’ve still kept the appliances. Still work great.

I’ll keep my money and the fridge that still does what new fridge does, keeps shit cold. And the stove that does what a new stove dies, make shit hot.

And my axe!

I turn off my lights when I’m not in a room and don’t own a server farm. #doingmypart🌳

Gay lust

Now I want to.

Carpet my hole?

Please owner, I seek death. Release me from my torment and… Oh fuck is that the wind? barks uncontrollably

Brewing beer and baseline jumping off building’s as your bros cheer you on. Apparently friar’s where the precursors to frat bros.

The Nelson’s are about to find out…

That their son used an entire bottle of Elmer’s glue and now sleeps face down to keep that mohawk standing up. They’ll spend time understanding his interests because they love him very much.

Gotta lick the wrapper after you slide them off.

Googly eyes on a puppet.

Hard truth for folks to understand is people actually fuck because it’s fun and a healthy part of a relationship.

This is what happens when you have no alternatives left to manage accidents and don’t want to live like a nun or monk.

Next up “donor” patches for clothing, donor branded shoes, and donor outfits. Have our state officials look like NASCAR.

The Shrek paradox

This is horrible, but also not surprising. I bought a candy bar there once that expired 2 years earlier. I’m sure their inventory control is non existent.

Also, I feel like no one in power to do anything cares anymore. Lead poisoning children and giving them debilitating illnesses later in life “meh”. Policies are written based on if the policy maker can outlive problem and it does not directly effect them.

Heat Dome - 8 Billion people enter, no man leave.

At this point I just imagine Elon starting every conversation with a woman as “do you like horses? Because I have an offer for you”