What a terrible day to be literate.

Hear me out, arm them with muskets. A gun line of Pre-K red coats would deter most potential shooters, but individually the muskets are unwieldy and hard to reload, and thus less dangerous overall to the other students.

*will break

Hear me out here, turn Puerto Rico into a state and combine both north and south Dakota into a new state called “One big Dakota”. We wouldn’t even need to change the flag, and the population of one big Dakota might break 5 digits.