It’s ultimately about the fact that no one in their life respects them. Do you really not remember being treated that way? Being disrespected on every basic level because of who you are? Don’t you remember how much it fucking grated on your nerves?
I grew up in the deep south, and it affected me deeply that everyone around me liked to use gay as a synonym for stupid, bad and especially defective. I remember how I just couldn’t take it anymore, to the point that I flipped out at one point in highschool and literally got up screaming in a class and flipped a table.
The constant, inescapable pressure is unbearable. It drives you nuts, to the extent that if it shows up when you think you’re around people who are cool with stuff it stings especially bad.
Ask yourself what matters to you more, honestly, do you care more about other queer people or you own feelings, because that’s what you’re asking other people to do as well. The pronouns thing isn’t a big deal for you, but hell, everyone’s got baggage. Everyone’s got things that set them off because of some fucked up shit in their past.
Because it’s kind of sickening to see a fellow queer person relishing seeing other queer people get the boot. I won’t lie, it makes me so angry and so sad.
Because no matter how much I may be annoyed by some sections of online queer spaces (I’ve been on Tumblr for a fucking decade and God I’m tired of it), I don’t want them to suffer. I want them to be okay, and I don’t think you actually want them to suffer either.
I think you’re angry and you feel rejected by people who should be understanding. We’re all freaks and weirdos to the outside world, we’re all used to being policed to the extent that we can barely breathe. Seeing it on the inside of the community must be really frustrating and blazingly painful. I’m sorry that this happened to you, I really am.
But I do want you to consider who you want to be, and what you want to care about here. I see someone spiralling and I want to let you know that it’s not to late to take a moment and reflect on where you want things to go.
Part of the problem is that sufficient wealth seems to destroy people’s understanding of consequence. They don’t experience them very often, and so reach a point where they can simply pursue whatever their feelings tell them to do and the world magically restructures itself to allow them to do so.
Combine this with how the incentives of the social system result in the people who are most likely to pursue a selfish course being the most financially successful- you get a recipe for short-sighted, ignorant and self-important nonsense.