A lot of the time, we have a lot of our identity kit tied into our work. Sometimes that also means to specific jobs/employers.

Losing that for any reason can be anything from a mild annoyance to fully traumatic. And unexpected job loss not only affects one’s self view and sense of purpose, it’s a threat to stability and survival.

So, yeah, it can take years to move past.

It’s a form of grief, though that isn’t always easy to understand, and how intense that grief is is variable even for one person in specific. But it’s not at all unusual for someone quitting a job, in a planned way, to experience loss emotionally. When the loss is involuntary, that stack, then it being unexpected stacks higher. A long job hunt after adds more to the pile.

With anxiety already part of your existence, that grief is prone to hitting harder as well as deeper.

It looks like your grief has turned into depression as well. That drained, empty feeling is your brain and mind saying it/they have hit a limit to how much they can process.

I’m going to echo the suggestion that some talk therapy would be beneficial. Processing such events in life can be difficult to do alone because it’s so hard to see things culturally clearly from the inside.

Don’t think you’re alone in what you’re experiencing. It’s a very common thing to go through.

This sounds like an attempt to recreate mollosoi dogs, just with extra steps.

I’m fairly confident that the examples given would result in a large (but not giant), smart, and people friendly dog that could still operate successfully without a handler. Not in the first generation, but eventually.

Tbh, don’t even need wolves in the mix; they don’t really bring much to the table, and you aren’t going to maintain that look past three or four generations to begin with. Wolf-dogs that breed with each other don’t hold on to a wolfish look for very many generations as it is, even when they’re all mixed with the same dog breed. Hiding mixing in that many dog breeds, you’re looking at what? 1/32 wolf by the time you have a breed that’s no longer being crosses outside of established individuals from the project. Maybe it’s 1/64th, I can’t remember what it came out to when someone did the math on reddit about how many generations it would take to no longer be breeding half breeds at all, with a stable population for the project.

If you leave wolves out, you already have a more stable pool that you can select traits from for each succeeding generation. You just can’t keep a wolf appearance without breeding wolves only, and even then you’d have to select each generation for that look to the exclusion of other traits.

Part of the reason dog breeds exist is those repeating chains of DNA that most (but not all, supposedly) canids have. Can’t remember the right term for it, but the Russian foxes also rely on that quirk. When that’s in play, you can breed for specific traits, but the more focused you get on one, or one small set, the more the others express themselves, hence the curly tails and floppy ears of the Russian “domesticated” foxes. You select for friendliness, you get “softer” looks. You select for looks, you get some combination of other traits (like the skittishness some smaller breeds are known for).

We already have a good idea of what traits breeding for size gets, and we have an idea of what breeding to visual standards gets when that standard is wolfish.

Edit: the Wiki summary for mollosoi dogs

There’s a difference between strict and abusive.

My mix tape

Yeah, thunderbird is solid as an email client. Can’t really think of anything I need to do with email that it can’t do

That could be my happy place

Ngl, earl grey scented soap seems awesome

Hey, my dog is a chicken, let’s not shame alternate puppers here.

It would make me get down on my knees

To pray, yeah, to pray, that’s it

I don’t actually keep snakes because I’ve never had a living situation that I felt was healthy for them until after I no longer felt I could handle them to my standards. But I love the little buggers. The big buggers too lol.

Snakes don’t really have friends. They have friendly associates. They come to trust people, and as long as you respect that they aren’t social creatures, can be quite companionable despite not really having friends. Mutual respect and trust go a long way towards serving the same role as affection.

They can even enjoy human company. It’s just that the same kind of bond you get with social creatures isn’t there. It’s like the difference between a work buddy that you get along great with, but have no interest in outside of work; and someone that you have a deep connection to. Snakes are work buddies.

If a snake is voluntarily climbing around your neck, it ain’t going to choke you unless something weird happens. Usually, if it’s well socialized, you can pick it up and put it there, and nothing will happen. But you do run into snakes that aren’t used to being handled like that, or aren’t familiar with someone getting scared and reacting. But they still aren’t trying to kill you, they’re just reacting to fear. Kinda like if you run up to a stranger and grab them from behind. Most of the time, you’ll just get “hissed” at (which snakes don’t really do in this situation), but every now and then you get slapped.

People talk to them because people like talking to animals. It’s a monkey thing. I talk to my chickens all the time. They maybe understand ten words, but they like being talked to for whatever reason. Snakes aren’t as into being talked to, nor are other reptiles. But they tend to recognize a calm demeanor as non threatening, and may be soothed by a steady voice. But there’s plenty that could care less what we monkeys chatter about.

People that keep them have any number of reasons for doing so. But what I like about snakes is that they’re no bullshit. They’re gonna snake, all day every day. They feel nice to the touch, and sometimes enjoy being touched, and will give you plenty of warning if they aren’t in the mood. They’re also gorgeous.

I still vividly recall my first real exposure to a snake. Some guy went around local schools with exotic, but “safe” animals. And they must have been because nobody ever had any problems with his critters

But he had a massive snake. I can’t recall what kind it was. Boa or python, I’m not even sure of that, much less what kind. But this big ol’ gal was bigger around than my arm now and I used to lift regularly. She was cool to the touch, and curious about us little baby apes. She’d sniff with her tongue, and move her head to look at whatever kid was closest. You had to be super good to be one of the kids holding her while the guy talked about her, but if you were, and you were at the head, she was prone to hiding her head under arms. Which tickled, but was just awesome.

He had smaller snakes too, and those were almost as chill as that big one. I had one crawl up my sleeve once. It worked it’s way across my shoulders and pokes its head out of my collar. The guy was worried, but I was grooving on it, so the snake just stayed there until the end of the thing.

I dunno if schools would allow that kind of thing nowadays though. Which, as an aside, he didn’t just bring snakes, it was all kinds of critters; spiders, turtles (terrapins), scorpions, hissing cockroaches, mantises, all kinds of stuff. not all of that was handled by students obviously. But he always had snakes, and they were all super relaxed around kids.

Like I said, the only reason I don’t have one is that I couldn’t provide a healthy and optimal environment for a snake. I made the mistake years and years ago of trying to take care of an iguana. This house doesn’t have the space needed for a proper enclosure, so I ended up passing the iguana to a guy that was super dedicated to reptiles. Nowadays, I couldn’t do the work involved anyway, even if I had the room. Chickens are hard enough

I haven’t even played the game myself, I and I know that guy

I never have from a big brand, but I’ve run into it with some oddball stuff for sure. Usually electronics

Nah, screw that if you have space. Yeah, you can run out off space, but keep things organized and throw out the oldest first. Some assholes will only honor a warranty with original packaging.

You may need to move, and original packaging usually protects better than random boxes.

You might want to gift something older, and original packaging helps.

Reselling with original packaging gets quicker responses and (sometimes) better prices, no matter how good the condition is.

If whatever it is becomes collectible/valuable, original packaging almost always increases price.

Keep that shit at least a year, if you have room at all, even if you have to open the box up and fold it flat.

If you actually live in those temp ranges, you’re fucked either way. Modern technology is what makes those ranges bearable.

That being said, I can bundle up pretty easy compared to mitigating heat.

There’s two ways to look at tattoos for a family member. Well, two common ones.

One is that names are a very direct reminder, and thus make it a very visceral connection.

The other is that, as art, names don’t hold up well, so something symbolic is both prettier and carry meaning beyond what a name can.

Now, I don’t personally think that tattoos need to be art. They’re a very personal thing, and just getting them for other people to see defeats part of what I love about them (despite only having ever gotten two out of my entire plan).

A person’s name in a place like you’re thinking is wonderful. Subtle, personal, close to the heart, so you can’t go wrong.

However, if you wanted something fancier, that’s not too difficult to brainstorm. I’d look at stuff that reminds you of him as the first place to think about. Like, maybe a flower that reminds you of him, or a favorite toy he had/has as a baby out toddler.

But there’s really no limit to options.

Usually, just mama. There’s a few nickname alternates that have piled up over the years, but mama sticks for whatever reason. She usually prefers it as well, so that works.

Strangely, my dad has two. Daddy and papa. I use them interchangeably, my sister sticks with daddy.

My kid calls their mom mommy or mom usually. Mommy when they’re tired for sure though lol.

Ikr? From that wee, neglected kitten to this.

That’s an amazing human caretaker shining bright as well as a gorgeous cat

And you know guys only want bat plushies too!

Totally worth it!

Also, I have the same sticker on the kit I keep with my sharpening tools

Lmao!

My eighteenth birthday, two of my friends dragged me to Hooters. Three mile Island wings. Had a contest to see who would tap out first. It wasn’t even a close one lol.

And I was very pepper high. I was a shy kid, but I was flirting with this waitress like crazy, just having a great time while my one friend was sitting there trying not to throw up, and the other had this rictus of a grin plastered on his face, dripping sweat, trying to finish just one more wing.

It isn’t for everyone, but gods is it an intense experience. I keep being dumb and trying tricks to make my innards handle it. It keeps not working, but I really miss being able to just burn like that