I have advice but you aren’t going to like it. The advice you might like is to obtain a copy of a book called “Sweet Sleep” and read it cover to cover. It contains the latest research-backed information about sleep, not just what some first wave behaviorists opined after doing experiments on dogs back in the mid century. (Sleep training is just dog training from the mid-century and does not, I repeat does not, has been studied and absolutely does not, and it has been repeatedly studied and documented that it does not reduce the number of wakes a child has. It just increases their distress.)
Here’s the advice you aren’t going to like …
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Your child is not going to reliably sleep through the night without waking for one reason or another until somewhere between age 3 and 4. And that is developmentally normal. Nothing in your story right now is wrong, bad, off, or worrisome. I’m sorry that you ever had expectations set to the contrary. Those people were cruel and the only possible result would be to make you think something was wrong with you and/or your child. There is nothing wrong. Your daughter is behaving exactly as is correct for her age.
And. It. Sucks. Because you need sleep even if she doesn’t. You need consistent night time sleep. And you aren’t able to get that need met because your daughter is growing up exactly right. Two things can be true at the same time.
Day time sleep has an effect on night time sleep but ONLY after age two. She’s not that old yet. Mess with her day time sleep at your peril, it won’t change the nights.
Given that you say waking for hours, is it possible that your idea of bed time doesn’t match her biorhythm? Is it possible that what you think of as bed time is actually something her body treats as another nap? Some kids can go to bed at 6-7 pm for the night. Other kids go to bed at 9-10-11 pm/midnight, but catch an hour or so nap around 6 pm. Both of these sleep profiles are equally healthy and normal, but there is no money in it if the latter profile weren’t pathologized (if you get my drift). If you suspect your daughter is the latter type of child, then treat that evening nap as a nap and do the bed time routine later at true night sleeping time, and that will likely sort you right as rain. (Not for nothing but there is a correlation between what is socially considered a late bed time and intelligence.)
How educated are you on the biomechanics of breastfeeding? This is absolutely perfectly normal for a breastfed baby and like any other things there are disadvantages and advantages.
The advantage of bottle feeding formula is that formula has an incredibly high amount of iron which slows the digestive system, leading a child to feel fuller longer because things are moving more slowly which in turn delays hunger waking. The downside is that formula does not contain melatonin or induce serotonin production so doesn’t assist in making a child drowsy nor does it allow the parent to have the most restful night feeding experience possible.
The advantage of breastfeeding is that breastmilk does contain melatonin. If you sleep topless, your partner can latch the child while you stay essentially entirely asleep. The act of nursing induces serotonin (and oxytocin) production which allows the body to get rested on lesser sleep. I am a breastfeeding Mom and peer counselor and often joke that during the day, nursing is full service, but at night, nursing is self-service. I will be topless, but kid has to do all the rest. And they do. I doze during the nursing sesh. I nurse flat on the bed in the side-lying position so that if I do fall deeply asleep, my child is in the best possible circumstances vs falling deeply asleep in a chair or on a couch where kid will fall and be trapped between me and an arm or something.
There are, of course downsides to breastfeeding and the fact that breastmilk is digested more quickly than formula means there is a shorter time to hunger returns vs formula. (However, the quick digesting is super helpful when they have a tummy bug as you won’t have to worry about dehydration.)
The least advantageous feeding setup is to have Mom bottle feed breastmilk during the night. Mom misses out on those useful hormones which multiply rest benefits as those only come from nursing, the pumped day milk doesn’t have melatonin so won’t induce sleepiness in kiddo, but will still digest quickly.