Posting this because I can’t really talk to my family or whatever. I have one main friend but I don’t think she cares on a deeper level so it always just feels like I’m alone. Who do you guys turn to for help? It’s always been a struggle for me, it’s like no one is really there. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again and I’m not contempt with my own thoughts and it’s hard for me to get over it. I’m not sure if I’m just depressed and I’m so good at hiding it or I’m just so numb to everything. I forget so much of my past and it’s so hard for me to sit with myself and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I just lost something so good in my life because I made a big mistake and that’s also something I won’t get over. I can’t win things back and it’s sad to accept reality of things. Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to
This is the despair that your fellow countrymen are missing somehow. It breaks my heart. I can honestly say that in your position I’m not sure what I would do. I have been close to suicide many times. More than I can actually remember. For a while it was just a daily chore to make it to the next. Somehow I continued. I found a way to fight for myself. Eventually I found a new partner who didn’t treat me like an expendable bank card and crazy weirdo and along with them I built a good life. A hard life but a good one.
Hang in there. It can get better. I’m not sure what you do to turn it around but please know that other humans care about what is happening to you simply because you are also human. That it matters how you feel and what will make you happy. Don’t let them just take that from you. Go down screaming and kicking and biting the bastards.