The world’s largest digital souq. A huge B2C and C2C conglomerate in which, basically, if it can be sold at all it’s available. I have seen for sale on Taobao the usual things like clothing, toys, food and drink, etc. But here are some other things I have seen sold:
real estate
cars
buses
a decommissioned jet liner
Asian giant hornet nests (hornets still living)
rent-a-boy/girlfriend
sex dolls (almost RealDoll™ levels of realism) for pets
soap dispensers shaped like Jackie Chan’s (or other celebrities’) nose
breast milk soap
bowls with integrated phone holders so you can use your phone while eating
bottled flatulence (no, really!)
It’s a wild, wacky, weird, woolly place that has some embarrassing issues related to its recommendation system. (Ask me about “airplane cups”…) And it’s simply the best place to buy anything. Even jet liners.
Someone with a decent English vocabulary comes to North America. They have a good vocabulary … but not a good grasp of idiomatic expressions.¹ And sometimes they use the wrong synonym here and there.² It’s a quaint and charming thing. So they want to buy a gift for a friend. A little pocket-sized stuffed animal. Specifically a cat. So they go to Amazon and look for a “pocket pussy”.
飞机杯 (fēijī bēi or “airplane cup”) is not, as I thought, a travel mug for use in aircraft. It’s a masturbatory aid. That means the same thing as a pocket-sized plush cat.
And after one search, followed by uncomprehending staring at the pictures of a few entries (because the text wasn’t easily decoded, being full of euphemisms), I got male masturbatory aids recommended to me for a good five months.
¹ They think, for example, that “horseplay” and “pony play” are basically the same thing.
² For example they might talk about reading a book from beginning to terminal.
Taobao. Definitely Taobao. I buy about 85% of my stuff through it and its paired TMall app.
What’s Taobao? I’ve never heard of it
The world’s largest digital souq. A huge B2C and C2C conglomerate in which, basically, if it can be sold at all it’s available. I have seen for sale on Taobao the usual things like clothing, toys, food and drink, etc. But here are some other things I have seen sold:
It’s a wild, wacky, weird, woolly place that has some embarrassing issues related to its recommendation system. (Ask me about “airplane cups”…) And it’s simply the best place to buy anything. Even jet liners.
Tell me about airplane cups!
OK, let’s go with an analogy.
Someone with a decent English vocabulary comes to North America. They have a good vocabulary … but not a good grasp of idiomatic expressions.¹ And sometimes they use the wrong synonym here and there.² It’s a quaint and charming thing. So they want to buy a gift for a friend. A little pocket-sized stuffed animal. Specifically a cat. So they go to Amazon and look for a “pocket pussy”.
飞机杯 (fēijī bēi or “airplane cup”) is not, as I thought, a travel mug for use in aircraft. It’s a masturbatory aid. That means the same thing as a pocket-sized plush cat.
And after one search, followed by uncomprehending staring at the pictures of a few entries (because the text wasn’t easily decoded, being full of euphemisms), I got male masturbatory aids recommended to me for a good five months.
¹ They think, for example, that “horseplay” and “pony play” are basically the same thing.
² For example they might talk about reading a book from beginning to terminal.
Hahaha that really is wild and whacky!