I’d upgrade my balls so that they aren’t vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill’s purse and get away with it.
Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne
From now on you’re french
Merde!
And you can only pee in the champagne region of France.
Otherwise it’s only called sparkling piss.
Classic.
I would like a second of the same dong. undecided as to configuration (over-and-under vs. side-by-side)
Definitely my spine. There’s a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.
Is it a form problem?
Probably brain, responsetime
Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick
Good newss! If you use a massage gun pressed right to the base of your dick, it vibrates like a vibrator.
Great trick if she’s on top, fun for everyone
I think somewhere on the internet there is a whole ass manhwa based on this concept
All y’all are picking dick.
But the correct answer is the balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.
Then you want to upgrade your prostate, not balls.
that’s okay my homies can hook me up with a reload
You’ll be limited by shaft resilience before reload time, especially over multi-day operations.
How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!
Careful with that, you probably wouldn’t want to end up in a StuG III Ausf B situation
rubbing a monkey’s paw
Oh no! I didn’t realize I was asking for Nazi balls!
Skeletal structure.
This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.
better brain
with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs
Congrats. You now feel anxiety twice as intensely.
yeah but now I can buy 2x the anxiety meds because of all my money
being smart is overrated, and it actively makes anxiety worse because you can come up with pretty good rationalisations and then be anxious faster
I mean, he didn’t say smarter; he said a better brain. I would also love a better brain, which to me would not mean an increase in intelligence. On paper, I’m allegedly well into the gifted territory of the IQ scale, but my developmental and learning disabilities, especially my poor executive functioning, have led to me working fast food…
Brain twice as powerful but so riddled with benzos that it functions at half capacity.
but I still have more money than before
Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.
I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.
Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you’d have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.
That’s a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.
Yeah, I’m just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.
I have a friend who’s losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn’t really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else
Unless your lungs fail
The heart will take that on after the lung layoff.
Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.
Isn’t that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.
But I’ll die.
I guess this isn’t a good pick.
Either way you would run into the problem of having a huge amount of your calories come from alcohol, without any nutrients. Unless you’re just drinking beer, which is just liquid bread.
Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.
I’d upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it’s learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won’t have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).
After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.
It said one organ, you went on a shopping spree haha.
Hey, flesh is weak! :V
From the moment I understood
I already have a big cock. So I would choose a bigger cock.
Hey, spare some cock for us too!
Hmm i think i worded that wrong…
