My fiancée does not know how to order off a menu. Actually she does, she doesn’t care to order from a menu like most people do.

Going out to eat with her is pretty much an hour long ordeal of me gritting my teeth while she racks up a bill 3x mine, all while trying nicely to steer her to just one item. She’ll open the menu, get overwhelmed with options, and end up ordering a la carte from places that do not work that way, asking for endless substitutions and upcharges. As an example, at a restaraunt, she might not be able to decide between a burger or chicken tenders, so she’ll ask for “a half order” of both of them, then she likes the sound of one specific dipping sauce that comes with another entree so she’ll ask for a cup of that, etc. Etc. I’ll say something before we go in, she’ll promise me she’ll just get a water, and then get a water - and a margarita. It’s draining. At this point, we go out maybe once pr twice a year unless something forces us out more than that.

The scenario that prompted this rant was that tonight was one of those times. Our bill was $82.10. My entree plus water was $10.99.

  • fubarx@lemmy.worldEnglish
    321·
    3 days ago

    What’s the root concern? Cost, imbalance, or inconvenience?

    • If it’s cost, she can pay for herself.
    • If it’s imbalance, don’t go 50/50. She can pay for whatever she wants.
    • If it’s inconvenience (takes too long to order and get food), you can order and ask for your food to be brought out when ready. Or just wait, chill out, and enjoy some time together.

    You should never worry about inconvenience to the restaurant or staff. Substituting is normal. If they can’t do it, they’ll tell you. Otherwise they’ll happily provide the food and take the money. That’s the social contract.

    From your description, it looks like the main issue is #1 and #2. If so, a frank conversation should fix it. It may solve the problem, or uncover larger issues and expectations you should probably handle before getting married.