Long story short, there is no ideal generalist instance. If you open the top 20 instances (https://fedidb.org/software/lemmy/)

• Lemmy.world is too big
• Lemm.ee is federated with hexbear and lemmygrad, something that is not very welcoming to new users (see this thread: https://sh.itjust.works/post/28798607/15305964 )
• sh.itjust.works names contains “shit”, which can deter users
• lemmy.ca is Canadian-centric
• feddit.org, as you mentioned, is German-centric, but technically English speaking too
• dbzer0 federated hexbear
• programming.dev is topic-centric (and has a database corruption for the last month https://programming.dev/post/20515601?scrollToComments=true)
• blahaj is queer-focused
• discuss.tchncs.de has a difficult name
• lemmy.sdf.org does not defederate anyone
• lemmy.zip is federated with hexbear and lemmygrad
• sopuli.xyz doesn’t have “lemmy” or “feddit” in its name
• beehaw is way outdated
• infosec.pub is topic-centric
• aussie.zone is country-centric
• midwest.social is region-centric

The next page has reddthat.com which is known to have federation issues with LW due to its location in Australia, and lemmy.today which does not defederate anyone