Someone remind 'em it’s only funny when it’s satire
I actually ate the onion. Spooky that this one feels believable.
okay I’m not American but I definitely ate this one
JESUS CHRIST!!! Don’t give them fucking ideas!
Wait, so this isn’t real? Everything’s so goddamn crazy I can’t tell anymore.
You’d think that after the video from from the other day was co-opted in hours they’d wise up.
scariest thing I’ve seen this Halloween omg. Never ever has a headline made me physically gasp.
Cheese and rice. Got me good.
I read the headline and went, huh, sounds about White before I saw the website.
Damn you The Onion…
dammit Global Tetrahedron you got me good
Got me too. I literally said WTF before I noticed.
Whaaaat?!.. Oh okay. Nice.
The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Only about a century old. Let’s go for another 100.
Dammit, those laws allowing virgins to vote!
a wife could be a virgin, maybe not according to the GOP but there’s no reason the wife needs to have sex with the husband
Basically US can create US LLC and deny to anyone based on anything.
?
Will say “it is not goverment, so it doesn’t count”
If you are saying they will privatize elections somehow as a loophole around following the constitution, I am skeptical
the onion is getting really good at “getting” me. they had me again with this article!
Nono, that’s reality catching up.
Fuck. They got me too here.
That’s because reality has caught up with their ridiculousness.
Reminds about interview with creator of Masyanya.
“How your script is always so ridiculous and prophetic?”
“I just look at current trends and extrapolate.”
*female voters.
“women” is a noun, not an adjective. Writing “women voters” is just as bad as writing “voting females”
The phrase “women voters” is grammatically correct. It’s a compound noun phrase where “women” serves as an attributive noun modifying “voters.” This construction is common in English (like “student athletes” or “senior citizens”) and is used to specify a subgroup of voters.
I will never understand this logic, it just obviously sounds atrocious!
You wouldn’t say “man voters”, so why do we say “women voters”?
It makes it sound like women aren’t the actors, rather the subjects, like people are voting for who should win Miss America or something…You would say Men Voters. But yes, it does sound terrible. What can I say other than the English language is just full of all kinds of Fuckery.
Maybe it’s using a compound noun for a person? Or when an adjective exists? Maybe it’s just tradition?
women or men fuckery?
Jesus, ate The Onion again. Right at the edge of believably.
In the 90s, the headlines were absurdist satire, and the point was to laugh at people who could fall for it being a real news publication.
Things like “Woman wins powerball lottery. Buys state of Montana.”
NOW the headlines are absurdist satire, and the world has decided to bite the onion SO HARD that real life headlines are just as absurdist and satire adjacent, that you’re easily forgiven for not knowing the difference between ketchup and catsup.
NOW the headlines are absurdist satire, and the world has decided to bite the onion SO HARD that real life headlines are just as absurdist and satire adjacent, that you’re easily forgiven for not knowing the difference between ketchup and catsup.
Basically american version of soviet anecdotes.
Why would you bring that condimental abomination into this friendly discussion?
I call tomatoes god’s perfect food, but they can only be pushed so far until they become an abomination before a loving Jesus.
Honestly, this is more a prediction than satire at this point.
