Imagine being the guy at the novelty T-Shirt company, who takes requests.
And then THIS order comes in…
They probably make these in bulk.
…I honestly don’t know if that’s better or worse.
Imagine a world where people just wear their dating profile on the back and then someone who fancy them says “I’m down for that, where’s your consent form?”.
Incredibly based world, if it were so easy
How were they able to catch a picture of him before he got swarmed by 17 and 18 year old blondes.
He probably not in Illinois, so that cuts a lot out.
It’s nice for him to be inclusive of 18! year olds. Dating can be difficult for ladies in their mid-quadrillions.
The man has a type, and that type is either 17 or 6402373705728000 years old.
The longer you read it, the more bizzarely specific and funnier it gets
This reads like a EULA
More like a warning
4chan irl
Someone needs to put this text into a Star Wars style opening crawl
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Just realized you couldn’t copy/paste for the prompt and had to type that out…
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I recommend one of these options:
Mind Blank attempts to hide the mind from attack, making its parts unidentifiable.
Thought Shield cloaks the mind so as to hide first one part, then another. This defense can be kept up at all times, unlike the others.
Mental Barrier is a carefully built thought repetition wall which exposes only that small area.
Intellect Fortress is a defense which calls forth the powers of the ego and super-ego to stop attacks.
Tower of Iron Will relies only upon the super-ego to build an unassailable haven for the brain.
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I know only the empirical clarity of Imperial Truth.
A man’s soul needs to be a fortress.
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And print the scrolling text on a shirt like a gif.
Putting your physical description on your shirt 💀
Lawful evil
I would not hang around that guy in that shirt. Hell, just knowing he owned that shirt would make me terminate a friendship. That’s fucking insane.
Terrifyingly specific.
Hilariously specific!
All of that text and he didn’t specify what gender he’s looking for.
Technically, blondes implies women; if it was non-women it’d be blonds
This feels like we’re making fun of someone with clear social disabilities.
I don’t like it.
Yeah! Someone with a social disability decided to make their very very creepy and detailed preferences plain for the world to see in exhaustive, almost parodillic detail,
Or: It’s a joke shirt
“I want my first time to be with someone as young possible…”
