Imagine being the guy at the novelty T-Shirt company, who takes requests.
And then THIS order comes in…
They probably make these in bulk.
…I honestly don’t know if that’s better or worse.
Imagine a world where people just wear their dating profile on the back and then someone who fancy them says “I’m down for that, where’s your consent form?”.
Incredibly based world, if it were so easy
This reads like a EULA
More like a warning
How were they able to catch a picture of him before he got swarmed by 17 and 18 year old blondes.
He probably not in Illinois, so that cuts a lot out.
The longer you read it, the more bizzarely specific and funnier it gets
I wish I could read the whole thing.
I wish I could set him up on a blind date with a few people
Do those people have badges?
It’s nice for him to be inclusive of 18! year olds. Dating can be difficult for ladies in their mid-quadrillions.
Someone needs to put this text into a Star Wars style opening crawl
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Just realized you couldn’t copy/paste for the prompt and had to type that out…
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I recommend one of these options:
Mind Blank attempts to hide the mind from attack, making its parts unidentifiable.
Thought Shield cloaks the mind so as to hide first one part, then another. This defense can be kept up at all times, unlike the others.
Mental Barrier is a carefully built thought repetition wall which exposes only that small area.
Intellect Fortress is a defense which calls forth the powers of the ego and super-ego to stop attacks.
Tower of Iron Will relies only upon the super-ego to build an unassailable haven for the brain.
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I know only the empirical clarity of Imperial Truth.
A man’s soul needs to be a fortress.
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And print the scrolling text on a shirt like a gif.
The man has a type, and that type is either 17 or 6402373705728000 years old.
Lawful evil
Terrifyingly specific.
Hilariously specific!
It’s like the intro text scroll to a Star Wars movie…
IT’S A TIME OF STRIFE FOR THE REPUBLIC MEANWHILE IF YOU’RE A BLONDE OF 17 OR 18 YEARS OLD, WHICH IS…
4chan irl
I would not hang around that guy in that shirt. Hell, just knowing he owned that shirt would make me terminate a friendship. That’s fucking insane.
Putting your physical description on your shirt 💀
This feels like we’re making fun of someone with clear social disabilities.
I don’t like it.
Yeah! Someone with a social disability decided to make their very very creepy and detailed preferences plain for the world to see in exhaustive, almost parodillic detail,
Or: It’s a joke shirt
“I want my first time to be with someone as young possible…”
