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TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.
I feel I’ve seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago
Even more similar than I remembered!
The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.
That joke’s been around since 1750 BC
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : “I will return when the time is right.” Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: “Why, then, has Jesus not returned?”
What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?
You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?
Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er… this is a joke btw)
Our world if Ea-nasir had sold good copper:
Top tier joke, mate.
There’s a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you’ve all but proven that God exists.
You will prove that one god exists?
Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?
Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.
Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.
I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?
And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
If you like old school scifi you’ll probably like it. It’s a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:
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“This is my blood” was actually a miscommunication, he meant that the cup he was holding was his and it was full of blood he didn’t want to share.
Jesus ain’t coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.
Jesus is a vampire?
I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.
You think that’s weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.
I wouldn’t come back either
Zombie. Undead, eats flesh and blood, isn’t allergic to sunlight, infection spreads through contact. Zombie.
we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?
A press conference with aliens? I don’t think so. They’ll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground
Unless we were threatened with overwhelming power.
Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪
Maybe we need to give an offering of Viagra if we want Jesus to come again.
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