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Just put them on a 2000 calory deficit diet during basic training, and double its duration.
That’ll get rid of 80 pounds of excess fat, plus they won’t have the strength to masturbate.Sure, half of them will become casualties before they see action, but they can still pilot drones, do the funny or make coffee, while you can feed the other half into the front line grinder.
but they can still pilot drones,
But sir, do we even have drones to be piloted?
Do the funny?
Do the funny.
2 kcal is not very much.
Deficit diet means burn 2000 calories off a person per day, oui?
not 2 kcal per day, a 2 kcal deficit per day.
That’s only about half a gram of carbs. Were you talking about food calories, which would be 2000 kcal?
Are you autistic, or is it OK to make fun of you?
I’m not sure what you mean by that. If you’re confused about the calories, 1 kcal (which is what people usually refer to when talking about food calories) is 1000 calories. A normal diet is a couple thousand kcal a day.
common misinterpretation… Calories is kcal
(with a capital C)I’m convinced that’s some bs some bigwig invented to avoid admitting they’re wrong.
I did my part by being born with a sensory disability. Mind you I’m also too mentally ill to enlist…
I WILL get myself addicted if a draft gets instated. My family has a predisposition towards addiction, and my life would be ruined either way.
I don’t know the statistics but survival chances for addicts might be actually better than for soldiers in active combat
Someday war will be… in a cup!
- “Grandpa, did you fight in WW3?”
- “No, they wouldn’t let me enlist because I masturbated way too much. Like an immediately disqualifying amount.”Private Cowboy: Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.
Private Joker: What was the matter with him?
Private Cowboy: He was jerkin’ off ten times a day.
Private Eightball: No sh*t. At least ten times a day.
Private Cowboy: Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy f***er starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division
Grandpa, do you mind? It’s hard to talk to you when you do that in front of me.
You kids today are soft, back in my day there was this big war & I could only use one hand because I needed the other to fight people that wanted to evacuate me.
Or that one time I had to hide in the attic & do it very quietly.
Or that time I had to do it with a super bright light in my face because there was something called “an interrogation” at the camp.
Now you’re just listing off my gooning kink playlist vids.
Did I tell you about the time I got stuck in the dryer?
I was again left with only one free hand!Luckily I wasn’t home alone, your stepmom was there too.
I remember. I was watching from around the corner.
Go on…
Go on.
Go-on.
Goon.
sweats in Cloud9
Wait I have to stop touching myself in order to successed in the fitness test?
Absolutely not, just only do it while at the gym.
How does that guy do pullups without using his hands?
For some reason I remembered Notch. He tried to settle all disputes in Quake. And it even worked.
“The enemy cannot push a button, if you disable his hand!”
- Sergeant Zim
If you die in the game, you die in real life
The body cannot live without the mind
I swear there’s twenty manwha with the same concept
There was a star trek episode like that.
Simpsons did it!
TIL wanking habits fit into recruitment parameters.
You know that movie with Bruce Willis named Surrogates? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrogates The Scene where they visit the Military.
This is how WW3 will happen, i figure. Warfare from the comfort of your home, ready to jump into o a new robot Body once downed. War being nothing more than a Battle of attrition and technical Ressources.
Hmmm, piloting a robot body against other robot bodies in war actually sounds kinda cool. Live-fire paintball without the risk of actual injury
The robots probably wouldn’t stop with the other robots. For example, if Israel had remote piloted robot warriors do you think they would only attack and kill other robots? They would just send them into Palestine, slaughter the “hostiles” and wouldn’t bat an eye.
As Randall Munroe observes, the first billionaire to create an AI-controlled swarm of killer robots will try to take over the world. So it may be Robot Wars on a grand scale.
not gonna lie it would be awesome if wars were actually conducted by gaming
They already are, but the controls are connected to physical weapons that kill people IRL.
You say this while there is currently a bitter war being fought with drones controlled with X-box controllers with VR goggles. The next wars will be conducted via gaming.
(I mean, besides all the civilians who might get between our murderbots.)
The rampant cheating would make for some… Interesting streams.
Imagine the Chinese taking the Alamo with noclipping special forces wiping out 20,000 men as they sit in a digital forest around a thousand bright but cold campfires talking about Christian values, the merits of racism, and which anime girl is best.
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/74098/74098-h/74098-h.htm
War No. 81-Q by Cordwainer Smith. Written in 1928.
Thanks. I thought I’d read everything Cordwainer Smith had written, but had never seen that before.
I think the name of the paperback was ‘The Best Of Cordwainer Smith.’ I read it years ago.
Fun bit of trivia. Harlan Ellison used the pen name ‘Cordwainer Bird’ on projects he’d written but had been badly produced. ‘Bird’ appeared as a character in at least one short story.
That might have had a rewritten version in it because it was vaguely familiar and I’m pretty sure I have that collection.
I can’t believe that they haven’t made an anime out of the original catgirl, C’Mell.
Man, I wish he had gotten more work done on the Instrumentality. The first novel I read was Norstrilia, maybe when I was like 13 or 14, and that absolutely got me hooked on the universe he built.
Now I have to go back and read everything again if I can dig those out of the boxes. I was really getting down on the pointlessness maundering of modern SF stories and had pretty much shut down reading it. Now I’m excited again.
John Varley is pretty underrated. “Titan” is an anime ready adventure story and “The Ophiucci Hotline” is good old fashioned hard SF. He’s the first writer I think of who compares with Smith.
Based on all the Arma footage already in the news I thought this was always the plan…
Good. None of your wars is worth dying in
Fuck capitalism.
Rules 5 and 6
I don’t care about how much you dislike capitalism, that doesn’t belong in here. Also this is NCD, we love war.
How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?
This is just a poor translation. It’s a colloquialism to say you’re jacking off when you’re lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it’s the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What’s really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it’s from a translation and you know that, your brain didn’t think about the colloquialisms. It’s kind of crazy how our brains work.
That’s boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes
Leave a man idle enough time and he’ll end up masturbating that’s where the relationship goes to the colloquialism for everyone. I cna tell you in Spanish we use the same colloquialism.
I’m aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.
I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?
Decadence isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe masturbation.
Are you a CPC official?
Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.
+100 social credit
Something something male essence
I don’t avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence
When the mortar tube is clogged with cum…
And that’s how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.
It makes you go blind.
Can I do it till I need glasses? lol
They’ll just give you government issue glasses
Yup, gotta keep at it until you can’t see the screen anymore. AFAIK, the military doesn’t do braille.
And your hands get all hairy
Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!
It makes your hand pregnant
How is babby formed?
Perrganent? Preganté?
Gregnant
They are too exhausted from masturbating to pass the fitness test.
When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.
Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.
After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.
Hold on, I’m almost there.
