Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby…
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you’re being, it’s not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!! You don’t fuck with hippos, you don’t fuck with moose, and you don’t fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it’s it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
“If it’s a hippo, fuck you!”
Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.
Damn are you living in Earth’s upper atmosphere?
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
Not anymore.
My wife asked for this. Lol
I’ve definitely let my wife write her name.
Tried this once, wife’s aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
It certainly is! That’s really interesting. I didn’t even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
I can definitely see why it would be harder than the real thing. Also didn’t know that existed, link (NSFW) pretty cool.
Are you just supposed to carry that around with you everywhere? Do you wash it in the sink after every use? If I were a trans man I think I would just use a stall.
Most of us just use a stall and don’t bother with a STP. But the shake it off and stick it back in your underwear move is the move with these things, and it’s about as gross as when the cis guys do it, lol.
Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I’m able to get, but I wasn’t expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it’s a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).
And she’s only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn’t know how strong of a stream you’re giving her and you can’t adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
You’re quite the piss scientist I see!
Preschool Memes need to die, you can say ‘dick’ on the internet for fuck’s sake!
Dick
I like how they censor the “C” in dick so it’s just “DIK”
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
dik was an animation studio once upon a time
I instantly heard it. DEEK
My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
Aloud.
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
I dont understand how you dont question a jpeg. A child made this meme. It did not happen.
Now if it were a png, thats a good source. Theres a lot more transparency.
the children yearn for the mememines
This comment made me remove both my femurs.
I kinda wanna cut off my thighs too after reading that
When you hear a real knee slapper and your aim is slightly off.
Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
Why did I read that first paragraph in Canadian accent
I read your first paragraph before giving up. You can’t be understood if people give up communicating with you entirely.
Well, that’s on you. You’re allowing yourself to be upset over such a small thing and missing (I feel) a very valuable point.
That’s your ego, like it or not.
You’re better than me. I didn’t even make it through the first sentence before I collapsed the comment and moved on lol.
Good for your. Pat yourself on the back and feed your ego.
They need to eat, after all.
If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes
That’s not the virtue you think it is.
Maybe she should try more quietly.
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p
I thought they used audio recognition or something
I am grateful that, in 24 years of marriage, this has never been an issue that has come up between my wife and I.
my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn’t be able to pee
It’s difficult but not impossible
Hard Mode
The competition is stiff.
You woodn’t think it’s possible
But urine it to win it
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
aloud
That’s quite the sound
Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.
She is a keeper
I don’t like giving myself golden showers
And i can respect that (i think)
I think I’m gonna just cut out my eyes
I do this alone for fun.
You cut out your eyes for fun?
Stay back, cum walls. This is a piss ceiling house.
That’s the old Johnson house. Most folks don’t go near. Mind the glory holes in the wall, you hear.
They’re load bearing walls.
Oh don’t touch that. That’s a load bearing cum stain.
Why tho? That was such a tame post
Melon baller
His flacid dick is big enough for her to hold?
Boy… Do I have some bad news for you sir…
I think it’s average when erect. I ain’t really worried about it either way. Guess I set myself up for that.
I knew a fellow with an over 7" penis when erect. When flaccid, it kind of went… Back in a little, like a belly button. A pubic button if you will.
You’re right not to worry about flaccid size.
You’re not a shower (showwer?) you’re a grower.
Honestly seems like the better deal. Have that thing out of the way during day to day.
Do you have the heart? I feel like someone should say something, but I’m no good at this kind of conversation.
My question is-- What did you learn from this?
Spanish
