Millennials are about to be crushed by all the junk their parents accumulated.

Every time Dale Sperling’s mother pops by for her weekly visit, she brings with her a possession she wants to pass on. To Sperling, the drop-offs make it feel as if her mom is “dumping her house into my house.” The most recent offload attempt was a collection of silver platters, which Sperling declined.

“Who has time to use silver? You have to actually polish it,” she told me. “I’m like, ‘Mom, I would really love to take it, but what am I going to do with it?’ So she’s dejected. She puts it back in her car.”

Sperling’s conundrum is familiar to many people with parents facing down their golden years: After they’ve acquired things for decades, eventually, those things have to go. As the saying goes, you can’t take it with you. Many millennials, Gen Xers, and Gen Zers are now facing the question of what to do with their parents’ and grandparents’ possessions as their loved ones downsize or die. Some boomers are even still managing the process with their parents. The process can be arduous, overwhelming, and painful. It’s tough to look your mom in the eye and tell her that you don’t want her prized wedding china or that giant brown hutch she keeps it in. For that matter, nobody else wants it, either.

Much has been made of the impending “great wealth transfer” as baby boomers and the Silent Generation pass on a combined $84.4 trillion in wealth to younger generations. Getting less attention is the “great stuff transfer,” where everybody has to decipher what to do with the older generations’ things.

  • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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    2 months ago

    My mom was disappointed when I said I didn’t want any of my dad’s things when he died last year. Hell, I hated turning some of it down. And I’m not taking any of her stuff, either. I’m really not into the “50+ years of cigarettes” aesthetic.

    • mox@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 months ago

      That might be true if it were pure silver, but it isn’t.

      At best, it might sterling silver. If it was made in the past century or so, it’s likely just silver plated.

  • shikitohno@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Part of this seems like it’s attributable to changes in lifestyle and material conditions of younger people, relative to their parents. Different aesthetics might mean their parents’ stuff looks incredibly gaudy to them, and doesn’t go with anything else in their apartment. My parents’ home is larger than any place I can reasonably expect to be able to afford, so I also don’t want their big dining room table that I’d have to pay for storage on for years before I can afford a space that it will immediately fill all of. Even if it’s a nice piece of furniture, that’s just a pain in the neck to go through, all for something I might never get to use.

    On the topic of collections, boomers just fundamentally ignore key parts of collectibility. First, old collectables only became so valuable precisely because people weren’t obsessively hording and caring for everything with the intent of selling it down the line. Old Superman comics are rare and valuable due to people who bought them at the time they first came out largely treating them as disposable. They didn’t assume they were anything special that merited being held on to and cared for, so they didn’t. When everyone and their dog buys up commemorative plate sets, or Beanie Babies, or whatever other collectable grift boomers fell for, and they take great care of them, they don’t generally see their value do anything but decrease. The supply doesn’t get significantly reduced, and everyone else can see that they didn’t pan out as the collectable investments they were billed as, so who would want them?

    That said, even for collections of items of genuine worth, you mostly need to hope that whoever you’re looking to give it to is as into whatever hobby as you are. If I were planning on having kids, I think it would be pretty unreasonable to expect them to know what to do with my fountain pen collection, unless they were into them as well. Otherwise, it’s just a ton of fussy pens that seem to have a fair number of duplicates that are really only distinguished by knowledge I couldn’t expect them to take the time to go gathering. Then, it’s still a big pain to actually identify things, make sales listings and sell them off. Hell, I have the knowledge, and even I find it annoying to do so.

    Maybe we could address this, in part, by normalizing expanding options a bit for inheritance. If my hypothetical kids aren’t going to know how to make heads or tails of my pen collection, but I’ve got a younger friend who is just as into the hobby as I am, it would be nice if I could just leave them that specific collection, without having to worry it’ll kick off some acrimonious squabbling. Failing that, have parents indicate who they trust to sell an item for a fair price if nobody wants it. You can take it and think about it, but if it’s just not for you, you’ve got a trusted source to sell it off for you, so you (hopefully) don’t have to go through an ordeal trying to find someone to sell it for you that will give you a fair shake.

  • ashok36@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    My grandmother recently died. Her son and his awful wife couldn’t wait to swoop in and take all her stuff. I actually didn’t mind though. They took all the tvs and old fur coats. Me and my brother got the pictures they left on the walls and the silly fridge magnets she liked. I think we ended up with the better stack of stuff at the end of the day.

    • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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      2 months ago

      I don’t know if you realize it, but each “generation” is actually a group of diverse individuals with their own character traits and behaviors. Demographers strain to lump them together with some attributes that are more common for them than for other groups. That certainly doesn’t make them a monolith.

      Tarring all members of a group as the same, especially when their membership in that group is due to an accident of birth, would be considered bigotry in enlightened circles. Wishing them dead is much worse.

      • BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world
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        2 months ago

        What if we just wished they would give up their driver’s licenses, stop voting, and stop watching the news (or the “news”)? That would have the same objectively positive impact on the world without requiring any deaths.

  • FarFarAway@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Haha jokes on the kid! My grandmother would buy all sorts of crap only use it once then give it to my mom. My mom has it piled away in a store room and when she goes, I’ll add it to my hoard collection. (Were not super hoard-y and can still walk and use all my furnature, etc, we just cant bring ourselves to throw away things that work, in case we need or want them one day / possibly sell them as collectables, even though they’re worth nothing now…) when I go, the kid will inherent 3 generations of crap. Sucker!

  • nul42@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    A trip to the thrift store can help. Its full of fine silverware and crystal and all sorts of nice boomer things. They will see that their treasures are worthless and can be painlessly donated or disposed of.

  • EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    The universal accumulation of stuff in western (& western influenced) societies:

    • landfills & shit pools instead of remediation & recycling
    • oil & plastics as a life blood (subsidized by governments)
    • consumerism over creation
    • marketing: “corporations will produce better things for us and solutions to our problems” hogwash

    I’m given hope, hearing recent art show in California is entirely made from trash.

    That said, our inheritance is banks of shit & “trash”, oil & plastics centric toxic energy-hole, and a society that subscribes to corporate dependence.

    Wake! Create! Remediate!

  • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    You actually don’t have to polish silver. It’s anti-bacterial properties still work if it’s tarnished.

  • yesman@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    There is a whole industry to transport Silent Gen and Boomer treasures to the landfill. Most commonly, a waste management company is going to park a construction dumpster in your driveway the same week you die. And there are hands for hire if your children can’t be bothered to go through your crap themselves.

    There are also auction and estate companies that will try to get value out of furniture. That’s dying out though because IKEA doesn’t make furniture suitable for inheritance.

    • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      I have hoarder grandparents… I sometimes wish for a house to go up in flames while they’re not home just so nobody has to deal with going into it.

    • Nougat@fedia.io
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      2 months ago

      Estate companies will take the “good stuff” to auction, and house sale the rest for a few weekends. After that, there are businesses whose sole thing is buying up the remnants for their resale/thrift store. Think Big Lots but for dead people’s stuff.

  • bamfic@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    My father was an incorrigible hoarder, but my mother had been culling his shit for years ever since he got too sick to stop her. Now that he’s buried she’s culling the last of it all, which is still a lot. She is not a hoarder but we kids have no use for her stuff even tho it’s quality. Estate sale is what it’s gonna be.

  • Talaraine@fedia.io
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    2 months ago

    My father’s mother died a few years back and due to a rabbit hole I won’t get into, was left with cleaning out her condo by himself. She wasn’t a hoarder or anything, but he was floored by the work involved.

    During the pandemic hermitude, he absolutely purged his own house of everything like this. He didn’t want us to be burdened with it when his time came. It’s ironic that I was a little upset over some of the things he threw out xD

    • bitchkat@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      My mom made them sell their house because “it’s the only way I could think of to get the basement cleaned out before we die”. She didn’t want to burden us but it really just changed the time line.

  • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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    2 months ago

    My parents went through this when their parents died in the early 2000s. This is an old people vs young people thing. Let’s see what millennials accumulate as they go senile.

    • Revan343@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Let’s see what millennials accumulate as they go senile

      Probably not as much, what with not having anywhere to keep it

    • 5in1k@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      I’m leaving a bunch of tools and crafting supplies. I hope I jumpstart a career or hobby when I die or it gets tossed whatever I will be dead.

    • femtech@midwest.social
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      2 months ago

      Mine is all on my server, photos and videos of me and my kid. Movies and TV shows I ripped from when blockbuster went under.

  • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net
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    2 months ago

    archived

    It’s tough to look your mom in the eye and tell her that you don’t want her prized wedding china or that giant brown hutch she keeps it in. For that matter, nobody else wants it, either.

    The reality is that we live in a world that is overinundated with stuff, and the value of things that people hold dear and that they paid a lot of money for and they think retained value is not so much, which is unfortunate,"

    Woof those are both true

    • Bob Robertson IX@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      My mom keeps investing in diamond jewelry. I’ve tried explaining to her that diamonds do not hold their value, but she won’t hear it.

      • Aniki 🌱🌿@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 months ago

        My girlfriend’s wedding ring from her previous marriage with a 8900 appraisal would have fetched a mere 1200 dollars at the jewelry exchange. Her pile of old gold was worth way more.

    • bitchkat@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I have a TV armoire from the late 90s that I thought I was finally going to get rid of. I had been using it to store brewing supplies but was downsizing. My son said he wanted it so it went to storage with most of his stuff. When I was moving all that stuff a year or two later, I wanted to hauled to the dump but wasn’t sure if he remembered. So now it’s at his place and doesn’t fit at all. So I think I’m going to cut it up and toss it.